Thursday, November 27, 2008
COMPLAINT
life sucks dying seems easier
2:07 PM
this pain is killing me.
Monday, November 24, 2008
One Republic
Mercy lyrics
Angel of mercy
How did you find me?
Where did you read my story?
Pulled from the papers
Desperate and hardened
Seeking a momentary fix
All I wanted to say
All I wanted to do
Is fall apart now
All I wanted to feel
I wanted to love
It's all my fault now
A tragedy I fear
Angel of mercy
How did you find me?
How did you pick me up again?
Angel of mercy
How did you move me?
Why am I on my feet again?
And I see you
Whoa Whoa Whoa
I feel you
Whoa Whoa Whoa
'Foretress the daylight
Come and I stand by
Waiting to catch the quickest plane
Fly me to nowhere
Is better than somewhere
That's where I've been and nothings changed
All I wanted to say
All I wanted to do
Is fall apart now
All I wanted to feel
I wanted to love
It's all my fault now
A tragedy for sure
Angel of mercy
How did you find me?
How did you pick me up again?
Angel of mercy
How did you move me?
Why am I on my feet again?
And I see you
Whoa Whoa Whoa
I feel you
Whoa Whoa Whoa
I'm so lost in you
A tragedy seemed to be over now, oh now
A tragedy it seemed to be over now
Angel of mercy
How did you find me?
How did you pick me up again?
Angel of mercy
How did you move me?
Why am I on my feet again?
And I see you
Whoa whoa whoa
I feel you
Whoa whoa whoa
I feel you
Oh Whoa whoa whoa
I feel you
Oh Oh Oh
faith... if only you see this... i think you will understand y i put this here.... the some parts that i want ppl to hear... but no one will hear it... for everyone does not understand it ... i hope you will... i hope anyone that reads it will understand what i truly mean......
7:22 PM
this pain is killing me.
The greatest achievement is selflessness.
The greatest worth is self-mastery.
The greatest quality is seeking to serve others.
The greatest precept is continual awareness.
The greatest medicine is the emptiness of everything.
The greatest action is not conforming with the worlds ways.
The greatest magic is transmuting the passions.
The greatest generosity is non-attachment.
The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind.
The greatest patience is humility.
The greatest effort is not concerned with results.
The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go.
The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.
1:53 AM
this pain is killing me.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
waa... rui qi.. smart arh...block and remove from msn, friendster and your blog hor... haiz... i can see all these de... i got nothing to say... haha ...
just a while more only ... haha ... everything will end... faith .. you understand what i mean hor...
dorcas ... i know you are not readying this when i type it... but who cares... dun forget what i have foretold to you. but i think you already forgot... mercy ... nice knowing you lah ... keep pushing me to go church ... haha ... wo pian pian bu yao leh...
yawns... i dun really care lah... those that know the meaning behind these words please tell me ... it will end soon... please do tell me and not ask why ...
dun worry everyone ... it will happen really soon.... really really soon ...
8:10 PM
this pain is killing me.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
IT IS TWISTING PAIN...
THE SWEET AGONY...
THE TORTUROUS PLEASURE...
GIVE IT TO ME !!!!
HOW I HUNGER OF IT. THE TIME IS TICKING. YOU THE ONE I WILL WANT. COME AND FIND ME...IF YOU REMEMBER WHAT I HAVE SAID THEN U UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT IS REALLY GOING ON. FIND ME. YOU KNOW WHERE I AM. IT IS JUST, DO YOU DARE?
COME SEEK ME I AM WAITING FOR YOU EACH TIME IT COMES IT GETS WORSE... YOU WANT TO STOP IT? TRY IT ALL YOU LIKE. MAKE ME HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART ... SO MANY OF YOU THAT KNOWS. YET NONE WILL ACT. Y? BECAUSE U THINK SOME ONE WILL? BECAUSE YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW? COMON YOU HAVE
GOD RIGHT? HE WILL TELL YOU HOW. GO AHEAD. ASK HIM TO
HEAL ME. CAN'T DO THAT ?? AWWW ... CUZ HE DOES NOT EXIST. I AM A DEMON AFTER ALL COME SEEK ME AND KILL ME . I AWAIT IT.
.TAHT YB NAEM I TAHW DNATSREDNU LLIW UOY YLNO, UOY KNIHT I .ESREVER NI SI LLA TAHT REBMEMER EREH DIAS SI TAHT LLA .SIHT DAER NAC UOY WONK I HTIAF
2:36 PM
this pain is killing me.
damn ... it is coming again... another attack of bipolar (mania) that knife i see again... i must resist temptations. i MUST.
1:46 PM
this pain is killing me.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
10:45 PM
this pain is killing me.
Can I Borrow $25?
> >
> >
> > A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.
> >
> > SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
> >
> > DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.
> >
> > SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
> >
> > DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.
> >
> > SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
> >
> > DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'
> >
> > SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.
> >
> > SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'
> >
> > The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'
> >
> > The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
> >
> > The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
> >
> > After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think:
> >
> > Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
> >
> > 'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.
> >
> > 'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
> >
> > 'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'
> >
> > The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
> >
> > The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.
> >
> > The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.
> >
> > 'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.
> >
> > 'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.
> >
> > 'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to
> >
> > have dinner with you.'
> >
> > The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.
> >
> > It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.
> >
> > If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
1:54 AM
this pain is killing me.
Monday, November 3, 2008
pissed off now... sian ... the habit just does not die off ... i am worried about some ppl and some things. the feeling of unrest just does not leave me. it really sucks. it is getting so sickening. i cant control what that is supposed to happen to me.i have changed. really hanged. winter.... you are trying to change me.. my outfit and stuff terry too ... but i wont let you ppl change it. i hate it.... the way i am ... even i dun care anymore... because i gave up. to give up means i dun care ... and it just irritates me on who cares about it. i know you ppl will get hurt in time by it... i will be the cause of it... cuz i will do it. that is while i am still able to be nice to you. to the rst i dunno. i reject ppl just by a little grudge... i am a grudge bearing type. i bear grudges on even small details. though i try to be nice even on those occasions ... i will act nice even if i am fucking pissed with you. but either way.. the mask i wear ... this half poker face i have.... if you can break this mask or even crack it.. i will be more that happy to see you try... cuz i willl have a surprise for you if you can do that.
7:56 PM
this pain is killing me.
ok just want to emo here a little...
time is passing fast.... i am tied down by my past....
my tears run dry but i really want to cry.
1 day without you is 24hours missing you,1440 minutes thinking of you and 86400 seconds longing for you. and yes i am greedy. to have no luck in things.i cannot stand being alone.(now u understand y i flirt a lot ?) i really want your touch... hmmm ... jie ... u will be mad again? i think u will ... but i think i will give u a punch on the face still... hahah good thing i not one of your bfs ... so many ... 1 in sg 1 sweden 1 in holand 1 in amsterdam ... good thing you are not reading this and i wont tell u about this anyway... ok i am typing what that comes to my mind now actually... to really count my friends... i really have none... it hurts to say... but just plains friends i have many... friends i can call out to meet and chat i only have jie... my lack of social skill really sucks... i am good with 1st impressions but the next few meetings i suck at it really...my uniqueness really makes things different for me. friends and family... i have none... cuz no one is ever free for me to even chat with when i need it.... those that are reading this... i think it is only the wrs gals only. so i will say this... i treat u ppl like little gals... cuz i envy your youth, friends and childhood.... i act funy i act stupid i act idotic i act smart... all because i learnt ... knowledge is power... i became different i became lonely... i never have any friends... beause everywhere i go i am called wierd. i am an oddity an oddball . it is really sad that i am like that.. joker, sadist, prankster,etc i made myself like this to make friends... but when i am no longr funny, i am just another guy.
12:45 AM
this pain is killing me.
