i have changed. time has passed. the trickling madness still exist. i am dying. my body is dying. not long more to live. i know cuz the pain is coming to me bit by bit slowly eating me up. kidneys, liver, intestines. they are all failing. i live. i still live. but is that all there is to it? i do not know. it is not easy to just try and live. i have let madness take over me once. i finally broke away. but i know i do not have long to live still. my body is too damaged. it is going to be too late to stop it anymore. i knew i was going to die. very long ago too. back when i 1st had my overdose. i know it is too late for me now. i may not have that same madness that i had in 2009.i broke out of that madness when i left them. i had to. to leave all the people that cares and cared. that was the price . thanks to that i had a peace of mind. for what that was many merged to be whole again. at the deal that i am not allowed to go back. the rule set by self to not break my mind again. it is psychological. i know. but i can't help it. it is rules that is set up so that i can obey. the only rules that i can follow and my mind follows to its end and it wont stop itself from stopping to prevent all that. i have not much a choice but to follow it now. it is too late. the price to pay is too high. just too high.
this pain is killing me.
| You Are a Pessimist |
 And when things do happen to be bad, life is like a dark pit you can't crawl out of. One bad moment can ruin your day, and you think one bad week can ruin your life. Things are much better than they seem. Just take time to see everything that's going right. |
| What Your Name Says About You |
 Unconventional but unstable Your name also says you are: Brilliant but obsessive Talented but unmotivated Glamorous but snobby |
| Your Famous Last Words Will Be: |
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