this is the place where i let myself read my stuff even when i do not remember it anymore. i am not who i am before. i am turning savage. into a beast. haha. lets just say. the power of will is amazing. all u need to do is just believe. i create myself after all. i convinced myself of so many thing. it is just a matter of time till i convince myself i die. all i need to do is just think. killing myself with thoughts. i am attention seeking. i am useless. i do nothing. i am evil. i just need to say that more.i just need to keep saying things. i will survive. i will not go insane. i will not die. just keep repeating them. and it will happen. but we cannot prevent the inevitable.i will end what that i create. hate me. i want u to hate me. i want all to hate me. so that it wont hurt so much. hate makes people numb to many things. hate the enemy. that is what many say when at war. where guilt and conscience does not affect them like this. so hate me. hate me so that it wont hurt. hate me so that u can laugh when i die. all u need to do is just hate. hate me for all the things i have done and hate me for all the things that i can do to you .hate me so u can finally see what is good for u. to be free of this pain i will inflict. just hate me and it wont hurt as much.
this pain is killing me.
i will make everyone hate me. it will make things faster. it should work out with no problem. but i do hope the one reading this is the one i wish would be the one that read. but that is not likely. so tick ... tock ... tick ... tock ... time is running out ppl ... seek me if u want... seek me if u dare...
this pain is killing me.
the ans is so simple that i seek ... mercy's last msg ... that was the ans... jolynn ... the reason was the same as well...the ans has always been the same and will always be the same... but i am a little too tired of seeking it. and i am turning it into a game and into a joke.not right anymore. i dun think i can be correct on what i am doing. but those i want to seek. they are not around.because i do not want and u do not know that.
this pain is killing me.
it is really worrying.. i am still acting normal and doing what i used to do. but now it seems like my suicidal thoughts is just coming and not leaving me alone. those i want to hear from the most speak not to me. those that i want to be scold me does not know that i want that. those i cant leave behind are ignorant of this. the time is coming. the urge to jump off a build is getting stronger. the urge to stab myself is also getting stronger... the urge to die keeps getting stronger. can i hold off till after the camp even? i am barely holding my tots together now even... time is running out....
this pain is killing me.
you know.... madness hurts.. not that i can show much of it anymore
this pain is killing me.
i am starting to itch for meat again... human meat... yes... really.. i right now want to eat human meat...
this pain is killing me.
| You Are a Pessimist |
 And when things do happen to be bad, life is like a dark pit you can't crawl out of. One bad moment can ruin your day, and you think one bad week can ruin your life. Things are much better than they seem. Just take time to see everything that's going right. |
| What Your Name Says About You |
 Unconventional but unstable Your name also says you are: Brilliant but obsessive Talented but unmotivated Glamorous but snobby |
| Your Famous Last Words Will Be: |
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